He's going to survive . . . in spite of me . . .

Do you know that happy place of blissful ignorance in life when you have no idea you have just done something very stupid?

I live there often. I was there on Sunday, actually.

Unfortunately, my bliss was rudely interrupted.

The short version to the story is simply this:

Buff went to church early. He took big kids with him.

I went to church later. I took a kid with me.

Church started. Brice leaned over and asked, "Um, where's Owen?" I thought he had come early with Buff. In a split second, I had complete understanding of the situation.  I had just left my six year old - still in his bed - at home - all alone. My heart stopped.

Blissful ignorance was truly a happier place to be.

I raced home (which is subjected to definition because I got behind the one guy in town who firmly held to the speed limit) terrified of what condition I would find my son in. He has been known to freak out if I venture to the basement without notifying him of my departure.

When I flew threw the door, he was lying on the couch, eating a pancake, watching tv.

His first words, "Bummer. I only got through one pancake."

Sigh.

Now if you don't know anything about my Owen, you simply need to know that he is a very verbal boy. The morning got very funny when he started talking.

Here is an excerpt from his explanation of how his morning went:

Me: "Owen, I am so, so sorry. Were you scared?"[sense the great remorse]

Owen: "Well, yeah [sense the sarcasm], at first. I went upstairs, then downstairs and couldn't find you, so I went out to see if both cars were gone. When I saw that they were gone, I thought, 'Now that was a cruel joke to play on a six year old.'"[still thick with sarcasm]

"Then I decided that I better quit crying and start having fun. I was home alone and I could do whatever I wanted! So, I went into the kitchen to make me some pancakes. Then I saw pancakes already on the counter and I said, 'Oh, mom already made some. Cool.' "

"I was going to go watch tv and then looked around and had the thought, "Um, if they never come home - I have A LOT of cleaning to do."

Apparently, he recovered well.


His one request, "Mom, next time you leave the house, walk through and check all the bedrooms. If I'm still sleeping, please, just throw something at my face."

Um. Okay.

Lessons learned:

Owen is memorizing (once again) my cell phone number. "I was going to call you, Mom, but I forgot your number." Hey, at least he thought of it. I'm a-thinking I need to post it somewhere too - because now that I've finally thought of it, he will now never need to use it.

Owen has been given the lecture, "You will NEVER make pancakes without an adult to help you!" His reaction, "Yeah, I know. I meant waffles. I know how to make those." I think he's still missing the point.

Owen apparently cares more about a clean house than he lets on. This can and will be used against him.

Owen is NEVER allowed to watch the movie "Home Alone." They are too close of kindred spirits. His imagination doesn't need any help.

All in all, the whole ordeal simply made for a good laugh. In the end, he was only home alone about 30-40 minutes and was only awake for about 15-20 of them.

In the meantime, I'm moving back in with blissful ignorance. I like it better there. It's much easier on my heart.


But tomorrow morning, I know how I'm waking him up.